My Most Epic Travel Fails of the Decade

Ah, epic travel fails. We’ve all had them. And I know what you’re thinking – it’d be easy to assume I’m a ditz perfectly poised and in need of a confidence adjustment awesome all the time. But I’m just your average content-creating dreamer! 😝

In case you needed further confirmation of my – ahem – grace and beauty when travelling, or if you’re disillusioned with seeing people’s highlight reels and not their bloopers. Then read on for a round up of my most epic travel fails of the decade!

1) When every other chick at Fushimi Inari had a flowy dress and instagram boyfriend and I had a shot of my butt.

This photo pretty much sums up solo travel and taking photos of myself. Lots of setting the self-timer and accidentally ending up with a shot of my booty betraying me

Literally every other woman at Fushimi Inari shrine was getting the perfect IG banger. Kitted out in the quintessential flowing dress, and posing perfectly in mid-step like forgotten Greek statues, while their photographer boyfriends took photos from a billion different angles. 

Meanwhile I was dressed for a full day of walking, my hat game was whack, and I couldn’t work out how to pose. 

I’ve improved a bit in the last few years. But applications for an insta-boyfriend are still open 😝

2) That time I got the expiry year of my passport wrong, only days before a trip.

This is probably my biggest ever travel fail. After hastily throwing together a trip to New Zealand. I’d just told my travel agent friend that I’d pay for my flight and email through my passport number.

Which had a whole year left on it, so “no problems babe“.

I pulled up a scan on my phone and swore like a sailor nearly died. It had expired. This year. This month. And my trip was just over a week away.

I threw a rough explanation in the direction of my confused boss as I sprinted out the door and to the post office. There, a slightly amused but very helpful lady explained that I could fast-track it at an extra cost and get a new passport in three days.

My friend the travel agent got a good laugh, the Aussie government got more money out of me, and I got a little cardio (ew).

Let thy travel fails lift others up 😂

3) When I got on the wrong bus to the wrong Amalfi Coast town for my cousin’s post-wedding barbecue.

My mum and I went to Italy for my cousin’s wedding this year, in the stunning Amalfi Coast town of Ravello. There was a post-wedding BBQ the following night in the neighbouring town of Scala. Just a 5min bus ride up the cliffside.

To get between towns, you take the SITA bus, which leaves from the Ravello’s single bus stop.

Yep, it’s exactly as simple as it sounds.

Anyways, we were there with some of our UK family who we hadn’t seen in years! The trip was part-reunion. 

So there we were, chatting excitedly as the sky turned pink over the Tyrrhenian sea during golden hour. A bus pulled up, and we got on without ceasing conversation (a talent).

It was a few minutes into the journey when I realised we were heading down instead of up.

Long story short, we had to take the 25min journey down to Amalfi and then get taxis back up to Scala. We arrived at the bbq an hour late and €25 short per person. But with hilarious memories!

The family that travel fails together stays together.

4) When I – who can’t swim – slipped on my arse at a Japanese gorge and nearly went in the water.

Kanmangafuchi Abyss is a gorge in Nikko, the perfect hidden gem to get off the beaten path in Japan. The abyss was formed thousands of years ago by the eruption of a nearby volcano.

When I got there, I took in views of the gorge from the main path. But then I saw a couple of people emerge from small trails leading down the bank and right onto the rocks by the water.

It looked like the perfect place to relax and take photos. So I made my way down – steering clear of the slippery edge – and enjoyed the sound of babbling water and rustling trees for a while.

Right up until getting one last photo.

I got into position, took one step forward…and promptly ended up on my arse – awfully close to drowning the edge.

There’s not even a photo of it unfortunately. Just one clear shot of the scenery, with me flailing somewhere out of frame.

I had to take the 15-20min walk back into town with a huge dirty mark on the butt of my pale blue jeans.

Luckily, nothing was bruised except my pride.

5) That time I spent my very first night in a hostel and a couple had sex in the bunk next to me.

The number-one-unoffical-goes-without-saying-hostel-commandment.

Thou shall not have sex in the dorms.

I’d been lucky enough to stay with family in London before my group tour of Europe. However, I had a ridiculous early morning start the day-of (seriously, does the world even exist before 4am?). So it made more sense for me to stay the night before in the meet-up hostel.

But the hostel was booked solid. Luckily, they had a sister property around the corner.

I was assigned a four-bed dorm small as a shoebox and basic – with the kind of bunk beds that squeak if you so much as breathe – but it was clean.

And I had it to myself until about 10pm, when a couple checked in.

It was all very polite – ‘sorry we didn’t know anyone was sleeping’ ‘that’s okay! Sorry I have to set an alarm for ridiculous o’clock’ ‘no problems at all, thanks for letting us know’ – and the couple dropped their bags and headed out into the night.

The problems began when they got back around 1am.
They were drunk and giggling. Not a problem.
They were noisy. Not a problem.
Then they had sex. Problem.

Today, I’d tell them to piss off elsewhere. My tolerance for BS is low. But I was too shocked.

Luckily the guy didn’t last long my hostel experiences since that first stay have been pretty awesome. Except for…

6) That time I got bitten by bedbugs in a hostel in Southern France.

We woke up oblivious to our blotchy bruises. Until the itching started.

There it was, spanning across my legs like some purplish-blue map. The tell-tale sign of a bedbug attack. After the map-shaped bruising came raised red bumps which – if I could’ve read braille – would have spelled out This Hostel is Sh*t.

Almost the entirety of the accomodation on our 28-day Topdeck tour was good. Some were even awesome! Most importantly they were all clean, except for this piece of sh*t establishment.

It was old, with showers that made you glad you had shoes on, and those stupid timers you have to hit three times just to wash your hair. Luckily it was a one night stay.

Avignon is beautiful, I had a great time there. But I’d really love to go back and stay somewhere else.

Somewhere the underside of the top bunk isn’t scrawled with the words “don’t let the bed bugs bite”.

7) When I slipped down the metal stairs of an Amsterdam coffee house and ended up with a HUGE cheek-spanning bruise on my butt.

Metal stairs? Meet wet shoes.

Yep, this was one of my more embarrassing-yet-epic travel fails. And I promise I wasn’t high!

Our group had all indulged in a little space cake from one of Amsterdam’s coffee shops. However, space cake is delicious not gluten free, so our coeliac friend had to sit in the lounge downstairs and smoke it instead.

Being the good and loyal friend I am, I waited outside with one of the girls – who was a severe asthmatic – while the rest chilled inside.

A while later, I went in to check on them. But, two or three steps down I felt my heel slip forward and off the edge of the narrow metal stairs, as if in slow motion.

I bumped all the way down like a slinky.

Everyone in the lounge jumped up or looked with concern at me. ‘Are you okay’ issued out in various clipped European accents. I lept to my feet quicker than I ever have in my life, as if unperturbed by literally falling down a staircase.

Luckily I am #blessed with a healthy supply of booty. Though I ended up with a huge black and blue bruise for my troubles.

And our friends? Had forgotten we were waiting for them and buggered off elsewhere.

It would have been hilarious if it didn’t hurt my arse-cheek to laugh 😂

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There you have it. The blooper reel. My most epic travel fails of the decade.

Truly? I love travel fails! They’re huge part of any trip.

• They make funny memories.
• Give you great stories to tell people.
• Remind you what a privilege it is to be able to travel in the first place.

Be reassured, there’s probably no travel fail you can mention that hasn’t already been made by someone else, somewhere else. Trust me.

Above all, sharing my top fails of the decade (that’s weird, I still feel about 20) is my way of kicking off another chapter full of the hilarity, injuries, and hijinks which are so part of my story. And which I now get to share on a wider scale through The Beat of Adventure 😊

What’s your MOST epic travel fail of the decade. Let me know below!

Takeaway? The bloopers are as important as the highlights. Embrace them!

Please pass this post onto someone who needs a laugh 😂

Amelia X